What Fuels You?

Life comes in a series of chapters that we are left to organize how we want; it’s a collection of stories that build on one another through our memories from other experiences. In some instances, we may find ourselves bold & stronger than ever; in others, we may be weak & struggling. What is it that fuels you in particular? What events have shaped your life the most & why?
After a great conversation with a friend the other day, it dawned on me that 90% of the biggest, most life-changing, moments in my life have come from my being broken; the straw that broke the camel’s back. While much of my fuel comes from remaining positive & being determined to live my life intentionally, I find that a great majority of my fuel actually comes from anger.

Once I realized this, I was almost ashamed. I could hear myself saying, “That’s it! I’ve had it!”; could feel my heart pounding & the steam coming out of my ears. For two seconds, I was completely mortified. How could I lose my cool like that? When did I allow myself to throw classy out the window? – In the same amount of time it took me to panic, I realized that these moments were not only necessary, but completely warranted. While I do want to find a way to always be as classy as possible, & I while would like to find a way to deal with the situation prior to the snap, I have no reason to be ashamed. I stood up for myself, each & every time, always walking away without a single ounce of regret. And, after a little more review… I find that these instances of strength are not only being handled with more grace, but becoming more frequent; all I had to do was break through that barrier… an ‘unbreakable’ gate that only existed in my mind.
So, what is it that fuels you? What’s it going to take for you to stand up for yourself? Is it going to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, a light bulb popping up over your head that has you realizing that now you have nothing to lose, or will it be something that happens in the lives of those around you? There are so many factors.

Promise me that, when it happens, you won’t be mad at yourself? Learning & losing it is WAY BETTER than sitting around for the rest of your life wondering ‘What If’.